The 5 essential Questions of life – Q. #5: Where Am I going? A Question of Destiny.

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In life’s Q. #4, we explored the topic of purpose. Here, you sought (and hopefully found) the reason for your existence – the blank that made you necessary and one that only you could optimally fill. Today, we are covering the last of Dr. Munroe’s 5 essential questions of life as listed below for your review.

  1. Who am I? A Question of Identity. √
  2. Where do I come from? A question of Origin. √
  3. What Can I do? A Question of Potential. √
  4. Why am I here? A Question of Purpose. √
  5. Where Am I going? A Question of Destiny.

As usual, all exercises in this series are best done in a place free of distractions and each question is to be contemplated throughout the week and beyond. Main thing

So, let’s look in to Dr. Munroe’s 5th essential question of life:

QUESTION # 5:


WHERE AM I GOING? A QUESTION OF DESTINY.

“… it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment…” Hebrews 9:27 is a Biblical verse that reminds us of two assessments awaiting us. The first is here on earth while we live here-in and after we leave there-after. The second is the assessment we get beyond our earthly lives.

Once you leave the earth, your assignment will be graded for significance and legacy by those you leave behind. Your footprints will remain as evidence that you passed through here. There are many who are dependent on you, unbeknownst to you or otherwise. The fulfillment of your purpose, on which they depend for the optimization of theirs, is your assignment. What mark will you leave behind for having passed this way? Will you have fulfilled the assignment for which you were created? The True Meaning of life is to plan trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.” – Nelson Henderson.

The story of Gabe:

Gabe had come to go, but he left his mark anyway. Dead on arrival, he had made his clear mark by getting Robert and Michelle to reunite after a recent separation that had been fueled by “irreconcilable differences.” One evening at 6 months gestation, it suddenly occurred to Michelle that she had ‘not felt her baby kicking that day.’ Worried, she alerted Robert, her now ex-husband. He drove her to the emergency room where in a few dizzying hours, a still born was delivered to the two parents. Bob and Michelle’s only unity had been around the upcoming birth of their baby. They both sat there in disbelief, paralyzed by the loss of their baby. Feeling helpless and in denial, they realized that the only other person that could feel so deeply about Gabe was … the other parent. This was the bond that Gabe had come to deliver.

The passing of their newborn drew Bob and Michelle closer than they had ever been. At his passing, they were forced to work together to announce the bad news to a select group of friends and family, arrange the funeral and burial of their ‘candle-in-the-wind.’ Gabe, without ever seeing the light of day on earth, had brought his parents a gift, without even trying. Gabe had left behind his re-conciliatory footprint. Through the process of receiving and bidding farewell to their newborn’s body, the couple learned much about each other and saw each other with fresh eyes. They went on to reconcile and remarry. The gift has lasted them in to their 80s!

As for you and I, unlike Gabe, we have the gift of time and a free will accorded to us. To choose what our lives will be and what our lives will do is, in most cases, out of this free will. It behooves us, therefore, within our creator’s will, to choose who to become and what to do with our lives – with a focus on fulfilling our assignments. Let us be of the value intended by our creator.

Life is not a rehearsal, so each footprint is a true footprint that does count. Ask yourself:

  1. How will I make the world a better place to live in?
  2. How will my having passed through, count?
  3. How will I influence others to also fulfill their purposes?
  4. When you come to the end of your earthly life, will you have planted that tree whose shade others can continue to rest in after you leave?
  5. Will you have left a legacy you can be proud of?

Death is a sure reality for each one of us. Once you vacate your current life, you will also be graded wherever you are going, on whether and on how well you fulfilled your intended assignment. As noted already, we die once and after that, there is judgement. Ours is an individual assessment where there will be no cheating.  You will be measured against your intended purpose, NOT anyone else’s. Therefore, living YOUR life well is key.

In conclusion, you will be rewarded for a job well done, on earth and in heaven.  If you do the right job and do it well, you pass the assessments both ways. If you believe in Heaven, you will hear the sweet words “Welcome! Good and Faithful Servant.” Because I’m not the expert in this area, a future blog post will consist of further exploration of this topic from my pastor. Stay tuned.


How to ABC Your DESTINY:

  1. Appreciate: Find/Assess your performance in your assignment. Love it.
  2. Belong: Stand in the truth of your divine destiny. Envision your significance. Be in it.
  3. Commit to becoming the Best You that will receive the best reward here and in the afterlife. (Leave your legacy/ be significant on earth and, optimally fulfill your purpose for your reward in the afterlife).  

Ask yourself: 

  1. How do I want to be rewarded, here and beyond? Write that down. 
  2. What legacy do I want to leave behind? Write that down too.
  3. What must I do to ensure the fulfillment of what I wrote down? 

Click here to learn how to become significant. Leave your mark/legacy and receive a free downloadable copy of my upcoming book: THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

OR

Click here to sign up for guidance and support if you are a single parent or caregiver.

OR

Click here to pre-purchase The Tri-Wisdom Effect book and receive a free 30 minutes consultation (Worth $75) with one of the authors.


And … No, you wouldn’t want to miss my Next Blog Post, would you? Of course not! Next I will be answering some other essential questions of life and if I can get my Pastor to spare some time, maybe I will have something different. Stay tuned.

… To your Success and True Happiness….

If it is painful enough, get off your behind and change your story.

Over time, Mr. Neighbor could no longer stand the persistent howling of Eli’s dog. So neighbor finally headed over to Eli to find out what the matter was. Standing at the bottom of the steps to the porch where Eli and his dog sat, Mr. Neighbor inquired why the dog was incessantly complaining.

“He is sitting on a nail.” answered Mr. Eli. who remained untroubled as he sipped his coffee while reading his newspaper by his howling dog.

“Why can’t he just get off the nail?, wondered Mr. Neighbor.

“I guess it doesn’t hurt badly enough. If it did, he would get off that nail.” said Mr. Eli.

Image result for decision making quotes images***

What nail(s) are you sitting on?

A job you hate, a friendship you loathe, an impending health scare you could prevent, a harmful habit, an energy sucking emotion, a lifestyle that derails you, a culture that prevents your progress, a mindset that sets you back…?

Well, when the nail hurts badly enough and you decide to change the status quo (I’m not telling you to do so), here’s Kurt Lewin’s change theory to tri-wisdom and help yourself.

To explain Lewin’s theory, imagine having a sphere of ice that you want to change into a cube of ice. To do that, you will need to unfreeze the sphere of ice, which will change it to water, which you can then mold and refreeze into the cube you want. And those are the 3 stages in Lewin’s theory namely UNFREEZE, CHANGE & REFREEZE. Even though Lewin’s model was meant for organizations, I have tweaked and used its Tri-wisdom many times in my personal life.

Click here to pre-purchase The Tri-Wisdom Effect book and receive a free 30 minutes consultation (Worth $75) with one of the authors.


How to Tri-Wisdom your change

To start with, you must create a very strong and clear ‘why.’ According to Lewin, there has to be motivation for change before change can occur. That usually means that where you are going must be greater/better than what you are leaving, at least in your view. I suggest you include some combination of health benefits (where health encompasses the following aspects: emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, environmental, social, occupational, and social).

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Image from here

Step 1: UNFREEZE (Ensure that you are ready for change)

  1. Assess & acknowledge your current state, including your emotions. Re-examine your assumptions about yourself and others involved.
  2. Research and write down compelling reasons for change (include advantages for the change and disadvantages of staying put).
  3. Write down what will change and what will NOT change

 

Step 2: CHANGE (Execute the intended change)

  1. Create mini-goals and Focus (Follow [the] One Course Until Successful)
  2. Use your leadership skills to support your helpers in helping you with the change
  3. Tangibly celebrate yourself and others as you achieve mini goals and large goals.

 

Step 3: REFREEZE (Ensure that change becomes permanent)

  1. Support desired behaviors and reward stakeholders for adopting the change
  2. Welcome, acknowledge and discuss feedback; implement progressive feedback
  3. Share summative progress results and celebrate successes along the way.
Image result for change quotes images

Image retrieved from here

 

You should begin to feel confident and comfortable with the change as you begin to fit in the new you. And voila! The world did not stop rotating. You have survived the change! You can now stop howling. Congratulations!

And before you leave….. Please comment below. Also please……

Click here to learn how to become significant. Leave your mark/legacy and receive a free downloadable copy of my upcoming book: THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

OR

Click here to sign up for guidance and support if you are a single parent or caregiver.


Stay tuned.

… To your Success and True Happiness….

The 5 Essential Questions of life Q. #4: Why am I here? A Question of Purpose.

START quote for blog“If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion … your passion will lead you right in to your purpose.” – Bishop T. D. Jakes.

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In life’s Q. #3, the concept of seeding was discussed and an exercise on assessing your true potential was also provided. As we continue to locate ourselves on the journey of life, lets be encouraged to reflect deeply on our lives. 

As usual, the exercises in this series are best done in a place free of distractions and each question is to be contemplated throughout the week and beyond. The 5 essential questions of life are listed below for your review. We are covering Question #4 today.

  1. Who am I? A Question of Identity. √
  2. Where do I come from? A question of Origin. √
  3. What Can I do? A Question of Potential. √
  4. Why am I here? A Question of Purpose.
  5. Where Am I going? A Question of Destiny.

Let’s look in to Dr. Munroe’s 4th essential question of life:


QUESTION # 4:

WHY AM I HERE? A QUESTION OF PURPOSE.

Why do you exist? The answer to this question will tell you why you are essential; why the world is better off with you in it. It is a question of value. There must be more than going to work, paying bills, enjoying some goodies, retiring and dying.

There has to have been a blank that made you necessary. A blank that the world needs you to fill. Yours is a space that remains unfilled if you don’t take your spot. In that spot, you can be who you are meant to be. It’s here that the true you must be found and cultivated. It is here that you must plant yourself and blossom. Do not settle on becoming a cheap copy of another person as is all too common, thanks to social media and culture. If you do, there will be nobody home – your spot will be a blank spot. Ask yourself “Is anybody home?”

Kenyan basket for blogOnce you find this space, you must strive to be the best version of yourself.  What a wasted life that would be if you didn’t! What a regret and what a disservice to all who are supposed to interdepend with you? Dr. Munroe states “The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose.”and he also states “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable.” –  Dr. Myles Munroe

It is in your purpose that the provision for your vision unveils best. Here is the place where you easily enter your flow. This is your zone. Care to be found where you belong. There is so much guidance to help you find this place. It is screaming to be found by you – all the time, everywhere:  Proverbs 1: 20 says “Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square;” and Proverbs 1: 21 adds “…on top of the wall she cries out, at the city gate she makes her speech.”

If only you can quiet yourself enough to hear it, wisdom is calling you back home. You will hear it every time you care to listen long enough – if you want it badly enough. Go for it. Exclude all unnecessary noises that muffle the call. Find your purpose. Focus.

Because purpose is built into every product, it is up to you to search for and discover it, seed it and cultivate it, as you go, to fulfill your assignment. You need ignition, or re-ignition to fire up into your brightest self. So when they say, ‘leading a life,” it means getting to the front of your life, and pulling it forward, purpose-fully. There will be pro-vision for your vision. Your manufacturer ensured that. But, you must take action for the pro-vision to unveil.


How to ABC Your PURPOSE:

  1. Assess & Appreciate the noble reason you are here on earth. 
  2. Belong: Stand in the truth of your assignment. Find it. BE in it.
  3. Commit to to doing your assignment, and to preserving your creator’s original intent.

Ask yourself: 

  1. What did I come to earth to do? What blank am I here to fill?
  2. What is needed of me today to define and potentiate my calling?
  3. What one thing will I do today that begins or continues to fulfil my assignment?

The beans’ story: The Great harvest

It took three months for the beans we planted in Q. #3 to mature for harvest. Meanwhile, my mom continued to keep us hopeful as we continued to faithfully weed, water, fertilize and protect the beans for what felt like a century. We got 150 cans from the one can we planted! The lessons we learnt were life changing and life sustaining! They were greater than our grumbling stomachs, our appetites for instant gratification. Here are the numerous lessons you’ve been waiting to hear:

  • Lesson 1: Delayed gratification aka planned patience (forfeiting a smaller quicker gain for a larger/better future goal). Today, I do wait when needed because I learned patience from the beans’ story. When there is a time stamp on anything, envisioning the harvest keeps me hopeful and I can then persevere and endure the wait in between.
  • Lesson 2: The time between planting the beans and harvesting felt like an eternity to me. Patience and hope are what kept us waiting. There has to be Faith in the means and the end; There needs to be Trust in yourself and/or whoever plants & cultivates what you are hoping for.
  • Lesson 3. Between planting and harvesting there was cultivation – We had to Weed out anything that could chock the beans, guard against theft (animals eating up the beans), mitigate the effects of the unpredictable weather, Create an environment for the crop to blossom, fertilize, water, etc
  • Lesson 4Seeding must come before harvesting not the other way around. Avoid the wrong order – Earn it before you spend it. Doing this in the wrong order is what has led to the current debt crisis for many. They spend money they don’t have, then they try to earn it next to pay back afterwards – usually, at a higher cost.
  • Lesson 5: The future of anything can be found within the thing. Our humongous harvest had been sitting as potential in the one can of seeds we planted. According to Dr. Munroe, a seed has within it, the tree that it will become. The tree is the seed’s potential, even though the seed may look nothing like the tree it is meant to become. I learned that I had a calling, and whereas it may not have been evident at the time, it was sitting within me, waiting to be brought to life.
  • Lesson 6: The growth of a seed in to the right tree is the seed’s assignment. According to Dr. Munroe, this also means that the future of anything is not ahead of it, but it is trapped within it as potential.  Therefore, success and happiness for that seed is in becoming the tree it was meant to become. The tree was the original intent. The tree is that seed’s assignment.

Ultimately, knowing your purpose is like seeing a vision, feeling it with your whole being until you become sure of it, resolving to focus on it as your priority (because it is) and as if your life depends on it (because it does), and going for it with focus, tenacity, endurance, collaboration, and whatever else it takes you to bring it to fruition. When you do, you will be dying empty because you will have poured yourself out to optimize the fulfillment of your assignment. They will point to your value and legacy. They will not say regretfully “He/she had potential.” because you died with it.

***


Qs. What is your assignment/What were you meant to become? What have you done about it? How far are you into becoming your best self?


Click here to learn how to become significant. Leave your mark/legacy and receive a free downloadable copy of my upcoming book: THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

OR

Click here to sign up for guidance and support if you are a single parent or caregiver.

OR

Click here to pre-purchase The Tri-Wisdom Effect book and receive a free 30 minutes consultation (Worth $75) with one of the authors.


And … No, you wouldn’t want to miss my Next Blog Post, would you? Of course not! Next I will be answering the 5th essential question of life (Where am I going? A Question of Destiny). It may not be what you are thinking. Stay tuned.

… To your Success and True Happiness….

The 5 essential Questions of life – Q. 3: What Can I do? A Question of Potential

When Idi Amin deported all foreigners from Uganda in the early seventies, my parents were forced to leave their sizeable wealth behind. They were not allowed to take a thing with them. We were forced to grow up in our new and strange state of poverty. As a young kid, I recall a day when we went to bed hungry even though ‘there was food’ to eat. On that day, my mom brought home a two kilogram can of dry beans but instead of cooking the beans for dinner she decided to skip the dinner part, opting to plant the seeds for a future harvest!

MirrorsMy siblings and I had spend the long day waiting for mom to bring back food from the market. It was, therefore, shocking to hear her say that the whole pack was ‘going into the ground.’ Because mom appeared to take no notice of our grumbling stomachs, I looked to my brother for a reasonable translation of mom’s statements. It finally became clear that she was not kidding. She was resolute with her decision.

We were to “drink milk-less tea and go to bed,” said my brother.

“But, the harvest! The harvest will be mighty… and the lesson? …. Even greater.” explained mom.

“Translation? Colored water for dinner.” My brother simplified it for me as a matter-of-fact.

Basically, the beans were to ‘die’ once placed in the ground. They would then resurrect in the form of seedlings which will take three months to mature. Only after that, could we  harvest the beans. My brother took the time to help me understand the unfolding torture.

“But the mighty harvest is going to be a century in the making,” I thought.

“By then I will be a grandmother.’ I said.

“We will have all the beans we could ever eat. A lot more than planted. Colorful, fresh, healthy.” He explained, buying into mom’s ‘bad idea.’

It should have sounded exciting when mom said the harvest was to be many times greater than the amount planted, but it didn’t. I just wanted some food – now! Frustrated with mom’s unwillingness to negotiate cooking a portion of the beans, I gave up the fight and went to bed hungry … and angry.

Lesson? There was POTENTIAL in the beans. Potential to reproduce their own kind. Much more than it seemed on the surface. To Recognize and fulfil the assignment within them, the beans were to produce a harvest after their own kind! They were pregnant with potential. Because the beans were not taken out, this batch survived to leave a legacy for having passed this way. I will cover the lessons learned -regarding the beans story – in my next blog post.

***


Dr. Munroe states that a product’s manufacturer ensures quality of potential before placing His stamp on it for shipping to its destination. Likewise, your manufacturer placed tremendous potential in you before stamping you as a human being for ‘shipping to earth.’Ornament

Because you were born to fulfill an assignment, your manufacturer placed the assignment on the inside of you, as potential, just like He placed a tree inside of its seed, as the seed’s assignment. Therefore, your future is not ahead of you. It is trapped within you. You are potent with your assignment!

Munroe states that the average human only uses 10% of the brain and that to be a genius, you only need one more percent. That still leaves you with 89%! No one knows your true ability except your manufacturer. Do not allow anyone to label you short of your potential.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be aware of and to appreciate that you have a Quality assured potential? A life that is meant to succeed? No wonder you feel unhappy when you are off course and no wonder you remain unhappy until you find the course you should be on!

According to Marianne Williamson, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” It is common to disbelieve your potential because it is beyond your comprehension. Sometimes it is because we have been labelled differently by others, or by ourselves, thus opting for the lesser of our potentials.

Here is a way you can begin to discover  your original or remaining potential:

How to  ABC Your POTENTIAL using the Tri-Wisdom strategy:

  1. Assess and Appreciate your positive, deep seated uniqueness, desires, and predispositions. Watch how you react to others, to situations and to things. Take note of the things you do easily. Things that energize you. Appreciate. 
  2. Belong: Stand in the truth of your true potential (including the 89% that you are yet to discover)! Convince yourself of just how marvelous you were made, and of the purpose for which you were created. Believe in your creator’s  intent, quality assurance, and the pro-vision for your vision(s). 
  3. Commit to becoming the Best You by unravelling your potential. Grow and keep stretching. Consider the majestic being you are with a mind, body and spirit and feel your potential until you totally believe it. Be grateful as you stand in awe of your infinite potential. Be open minded to discovering yourself and what made you necessary.

Remember that “Once you make a decision, the world conspires to make it happen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson. 

Ask yourself: 

  1. What is my true potential?
  2. How have I limited my true potential?
  3. What one thing can I do today to release my potential?
  4. What 3 things in the direction of my calling, will I work on this week?
  5. What 3 problems that others have, will I commit to helping them resolve to some conclusion this month? 

***

It remains important to remember that no product leaves the manufacturer’s plant without being tested for quality assurance. And yes, that includes your special needs or disabled relative, if you have one. We all have potential. Potential to make our unique mark, to its fullest. Potential to keep stretching and growing.

There is no end to learning and stretching. The best stretches move you closer to the fulfilment of your assignment. In many cases, it takes some challenges for us to realize out dormant selves, our potential, just like it takes being steeped in hot water for a teabag to reveal its strength. As for the beans that my mom planted, well let’s find out the lessons I learned from that… which I have carried into adulthood, being helpful as they are…….


And … No, you wouldn’t want to miss my Next Blog Post, would you?

Of course not! Next I will be answering the 4th essential question of life (Why am I here? A Question of Purpose). It may not be what you are thinking. The beans story was a gem. I’m partly what I am today because of the beans story. Stay tuned and meanwhile remember to…


Click here to learn how to become significant. Leave your mark/legacy and receive a free downloadable copy of my upcoming book: THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

OR

Click here to sign up for guidance and support if you are a single parent or caregiver.

OR

Click here to pre-purchase The Tri-Wisdom Effect book and receive a free 30 minutes consultation (Worth $75) with one of the authors.


Let me know if you would like an audio version of this posting (read by the author).

… To your Success and True Happiness….

The 5 essential Questions of life – Q. 2: Where am I from? A question of origin.

In Q.1 of this series, an exercise on defining your unique and authentic identity was provided. The rest of the exercises in the series continue to help you locate yourself on the journey of life. They also encourage you to do your best with who YOU are. Below are the 5 essential questions of which we cover Question #2 today:

Source of image here

  1. Who am I? A Question of Identity.
  2. Where am I from? A Question of Origin.
  3. What Can I do? A Question of Potential
  4. Why am I here? A Question of Purpose.
  5. Where Am I going? A Question of Destiny.

Please note that this exercise is best done in a place free of distractions. The information involved is to be contemplated throughout the week and beyond. So here is Dr. Munroe’s second essential question of life:

QUESTION # 2:

WHERE AM I FROM? A QUESTION OF ORIGIN.

This is not a question of ethnicity. Neither is it a question of race nor a search for your place of birth. It is a question of your true source. Your creator. “But,” you might ask, “…does it even matter that we came from somewhere? Isn’t it enough to know that WE ARE here? Isn’t it adequate to live life as it comes? Why should we care about our origin?”

The search for your source is not fuelled by the desire to complicate a ‘simple thing.’ Rather, it is an essential question that drives you towards the fulfilment of the reason for your being. If you do not know your origin, it is hard to know what you are, what your quality is and what your true abilities are since all these relate to your source. Knowing your originator or creator helps you to understand the original intent for creating you. Everything has a purpose determined by whoever or whatever brought it into being. A source determines what something is and what it can do. A creator determines a creation’s built-in abilities, strengths and potential. To pinpoint your source, here’s a suggested way.

How to ABC your SOURCE using the Tri-Wisdom strategy:

  1. Appreciate that you have a creator/source (This helps you to understand that there must have been an original intent for creating you).
  2. Belong: Stand in the truth of who your creator is (Helps you understand the nature of your originator. It helps you relate well to your creator and to the original intent for your creation).
  3. Commit to preserving your creator’s original intent (understand that the intent for your creation is an assignment. Whatever it is, it begs to be done as intended. The fulfilment of this assignment optimizes your life and satisfies your creator).

Ask yourself:

  1. Who, really, is my creator/source?
  2. What was in the mind of my creator at my creation?
  3. What superior abilities must this creator have to create such a majestic being?
  4. How can I best relate to my creator to optimize my life? 
  5. Why did my creator have to be the one to create me? This is a great question to dwell on as it speaks to your relationship with that creator and dependence on your creator.


Shakira’s story: Your help please.

Before she came face to face with Guy who took the time to explain the case for a creator, Shakira drew her opposing conviction from the voices in her culture. Like most people she knew, she grew up believing that ‘stuff came together all by itself and formed life, including human life. Wow!’ She had never given it much thought but she recalls vehemently arguing with a group of guys who seemed to state otherwise.

These two people had showed up at her door with pamphlets. They spoke about some ‘heavenly God’ they believed in. She felt empowered by her long standing belief to fight for her standpoint. To ward off these ‘intruders with their weird beliefs,’ Shakira successfully used the familiar lines her brother had used in similar arguments. “How could anyone think that some being with a large beard, sitting somewhere in the skies created all these?” she mumbled, pointing to her beautiful garden and then banging the door in their face! Back inside the house, she wondered where she had gotten the image of the bearded man in the sky. She laughed it off and put the matter to rest. Or did she?

It was not until 5 years later that Shakira began to question her own long held beliefs. At a close friend’s funeral, it finally hit her. ‘There had to be some purpose to life, a destination for the departed, an assignment to answer for …. something divine. Divine? Yes, Devine. What does divine even mean? Shakira heard herself asking loud enough for the next person to hear.

“I think it means something Holy,” Answered Joy, a lady who was seated next to her.

“Pure, you mean?” Shakira added.

“Yes, but don’t ask me anything more. I know nothing else. If you want a picture of how you will burn in hell, don’t ask me. Ask Guy. He is the one who is on his way to heaven. He can prevent you from going to hell…

That night, Shakira stayed up all night, trying to get answers from several people at the wake. Nobody seemed to have answers in this crowd but by the time someone dug up a dusty Bible from the attic, most people were already leaving the gathering. Afraid to touch the bible for fear of hell fire descending on her – to burn her for her many sins – Shakira declined the offer to receive the Bible and search for the answers therein. Unsettled though, she spent the next several days looking for Guy. Once she found him, she did not let go of Guy until he satisfactorily answered most of her urgent and essential questions. Shakira became a new believer. A firm believer.

Instructions—The Principle Or Foundation Gerard Manley Hopkins

Source of image here

She now believes that a super intelligent force must have put together such self-sustaining majestic human, animal and plant lives. That the universe, is in the palm of this creator’s hand. That she is like a speck of dust by comparison to the vast universe. To the bigger picture, she is significant because she was intentionally created for a purpose. That she is here on a mission, a divine assignment which she must optimize has become so real for Shakira. To daily understand this creator has become urgent. Urgent enough for her to spend hours daily communing with and falling in love with her creator.

The only problem is that a test has come sooner than she thought: Matt has mockingly challenged her with the question, “Can you explain to me why I should believe that someone or something created me?” He seems genuinely interested in hearing the answer to his question. In the comments section below please help Shakira explain the Case For A Creator to Matt.

***


Click here to learn how to become significant. Leave your mark/legacy and receive a free downloadable copy of my upcoming book: THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

OR

Click here to sign up for guidance and support if you are a single parent or caregiver.

OR

Click here to pre-purchase The Tri-Wisdom Effect book and receive a free 30 minutes consultation (Worth $75) with one of the authors.


And … No, you wouldn’t want to miss my Next Blog Post, would you?

Of course not! In the next blog, let’s answer the 3rd essential question of life (What Can I do? A Question of Potential). It may not be what you are thinking. 

… To your Success and True Happiness….

 

The 5 Essential Questions of life – Q1. Who are you? Really…

UrgentHappy New Year Everyone! This being my 1st new year post, I will step away from the Blossom series for a couple of weeks in order to shift our thoughts onto the essence of our lives as human beings.

The related exercise is to help you locate yourself on the journey of life. And… what better teachings to apply than Dr. Myles Munroe’s Five Essential Questions of Life? They include:

  1. Who am I? A Question of Identity.
  2. Where am I from? A Question of Origin.
  3. What Can I do? A Question of Potential 
  4. Why am I here? A Question of Purpose.
  5. Where Am I going? A Question of Destiny.

Let’s delve directly into Munroe’s questions one by one, at the pace of one a week.

The exercise is best done in a place free of distractions. It is to be contemplated  throughout the week and beyond. Here is the first question:

QUESTION # 1: 

WHO AM I? A QUESTION OF IDENTITY

Who, really, is that person living in the shell you call your body? YOU, are the tenant living in your body, your earthly home. That’s why when the tenant vacates, there’s nobody home to keep the body alive.

The answer to the question of who you are should reveal that authentic tenant. The temptation is to think of yourself in terms of what you do, but the answer to this question should not trigger anything to do with what you do for a living. What you do for a living is temporary, but who you are is permanent. To meet your tenant, find some quiet, alone time, and answer the question of who you are, honestly. Write down who you are. Here’s one way of doing it:

How to locate and define  who YOU are using the ABC Tri-Wisdom strategy:

  1. Assess and Appreciate who you really are – Define that true ‘person’ that’s living in your body – your earthly house. Who you are is so much nobler and majestic that what you or others probably know.
  2. Belong to this essential person you call “I” or “ME” (Stand in your truth, not in the labels that others have placed on you). You have to be present in you, in order to move forward as YOU.
  3. Contribute to your essence by Committing to become the best you. Only YOU can move YOU forward. Yes, it will be with the help of others, but the decision and action are YOURS to commit to.

Ask yourself: 

  1. How will I honor who I am this week? 
  2. What’s the one thing I will do today to ensure I honor who I am.
  3. How will I evaluate that I have honored who I am today? This week? 

Kevin’s story: Your help please…

Q1. What would you do under Kevin’s circumstances below?

Overwhelmed by the many demands on his life as a full time University Professor, Single father of three kids, and Caregiver to his autistic brother, Kevin was beginning to lose control over his life. He was losing his car keys more often, misplacing stuff in the house more frequently and forgetting his scheduled appointments. He recently showed up to work with mismatched shoes, and only discovered when one of his students pointed it out to him.

Kevin could barely rest long enough to function well. Nor could he find the time to socialize with others as the many expectations and deadlines pushed him into a robotic corner, with an endless to-do list. With his ‘former artistic self now dead,’ Kevin had come to believe that he could no longer even draw a stick person – a far cry from his former self as a sculptor and graphic designer with freely flowing creative juices.Main thing

Life threw Kevin a curve when his wife of 7 years passed on shortly after the birth of their baby girl. Kevin appeared to have grieved well thereafter. He had stabilized with the help of his aunt Judy who came over to help him, staying with him for two years. But, things seemed to have gone south when Aunty Judy left. Things got even worse after the employment of a ‘nanny from hell.’ This nanny seemed to have come to dismantle everything that Aunt Judy had helped build. It did not help Kevin when the arrangements for the next nanny and a new romantic relationship both fell through. This left him with no lasting or predictable child care – for the last two and a half years. With one income, Kevin cannot afford to stop working to care for his young children. He does not have savings to live off of. Any Government support would be inadequate.

Q2. Using the idea that Identity is crucial, 

a). How can Kevin find his identity under the circumstances?

b). Why should Kevin care to locate himself on his life’s journey and define his identity?

Please feel free to enter your comments below.



Click here to learn how to become significant. Leave your mark/legacy and receive a free downloadable copy of my upcoming book: THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

OR

Click here to sign up for guidance and support if you are a single parent or caregiver.

OR

Click here to pre-purchase The Tri-Wisdom Effect book and receive a free 30 minutes consultation (Worth $75) with one of the authors.


And … No, you wouldn’t want to miss my Next Blog Post, would you?

Of course not! In the next blog, let’s continue with the 5 essential questions of life (Where am I from? A Question of Origin). It probably won’t be what you are thinking. 

… To your Success and True Happiness….

 

5 Beliefs that Frustrate your Progress when misfortune hits

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When bad luck hits you and your culture has an incriminating explanation for it, your shock stage of grieving can be long and lonely. Such was the case when my son was diagnosed with autism. I expected empathy but someone righteous finally spoke for many. She asked me what sins I needed to repent of. Sins that made my son mentally ill. Ouch!

1.The belief that it only happens to others: It is interesting that before we have become ‘those people’ who are going through a lasting diagnosis, we tend to find reason to point fingers or casually or carelessly comment without empathy. Jacinta had spent years blaming her neighbor John for his runaway son, until her own ‘well behaved’ son, driving under the influence, caused a road accident that killed two and permanently disabled a teenager. Ordinarily, the likes of Jacinta would stay in denial and disbelief for longer than usual when a misfortune hits them, but our Jacinta became a changed woman, quickly. She understood the pain of another as soon as her’s hit. She apologised to John. This helped Jacinta to grieve her own loss more effectively. And, guess who came to her aide? John. Jacinta was easier on herself. She sought help and got it.

Why should you care about your cultural beliefs?

According to the Cambridge English Dictionary, CULTURE refers to “… the general customs and beliefs of a particular group of people at a particular time.” In this blog post, I want to dwell on the ‘beliefs’ part of culture and effects of a fixed belief mindset on our lives as well as those of others.

While Cultures and Subcultures are important in providing structure and a sense of belonging, aspects of a culture can promote self-defeating beliefs that prevent us from reaching our goals or being effective in our duties. One’s upbringing – usually based in cultural beliefs for the most part – may engrain behaviours that could prevent certain members from living a life true to their core, succumbing to cultural pressure.

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2. The belief that you cannot succeed as a single parent… and why are you single in the first place? Rather than uplift and encourage me to settle well and succeed now that I’m a single parent, there are people who pity me for being one, and even try to dampen my spirit, insinuating that I’m doomed to fail. It should be noted that there are many single parents (single by choice e.g. never married or by chance e.g widowed) who have succeeded in life. They grieved the loss/lack of a partner and then answered the question “now what?,” sealing it with action. Gazelle-intense action. As a result, they have seen the fruits of their labor. And… yes, you too can!

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3. The Belief that illness stems from sin. … While there are others who dwell on explaining what I must have done to lose a husband, others work hard to ‘connect the dots’ between what sins I must have committed to deserve a special needs son! Their explanations range from silly to seriously unkind, sometimes even vengeful.

Speaking of having a special needs child – it is like planning to go in a direction of your choice and finding yourself elsewhere on arrival! Sometimes the detour occurs along one’s life journey (as in the case of a life changing road accident) and sometimes it happens right at the beginning of life (as illustrated below in #4 – Emily Kingsley’s essay titled “Welcome to Holland”):

4. The belief that one child isn’t as awesome as another.

Kingsley describes how expectant parents (of one who will be born disabled), prepare to welcome and cherish their baby. Just like their friends would have done, they have envisioned the ‘great joy ahead.’ Excitement is in the air. She likens this to preparing for a journey to Italy only to find out on the day of fruition that you have landed in Holland!

“The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

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In shock, you come to realize that you now have a special needs child and he is yours to keep. “The important thing is that … [who you have for a child isn’t horrible] It’s just a different place” to be. “…there’s been a change in the flight plan. You must learn new ways that you had not anticipated, to deal with a situation you had not prepared for. You have to learn the language of caregiving and meet different people you might not have met had you not had a special needs child. The excitement you have is a different one. With time, you catch on and begin to appreciate who you have. He is different, yes. And he has essence – yes and yes. So, yes, you begin to enjoy the blessing.

“But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.” The pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.” – (Kingsley, 1987)

5. The belief that life is impossible in the presence of lasting diagnosis: No, it isn’t. We are too resilient, too potent to succumb, especially because God has our backs. Just ask those who have been to hell and back and you will believe in your own ability to tow your own line to success and happiness, despite challenges. There is provision for your vision. You must have the vision  though, and seal it with gazelle intensity action. It will all align, in due time. Stay focused.

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***

Q. What would you do if hit with a lasting misfortune?


Click here to learn how to become significant. Leave your mark/legacy and receive a free downloadable copy of my upcoming book: THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

OR

Click here to sign up for guidance and support if you are a single parent or caregiver.

OR

Click here to pre-purchase The Tri-Wisdom Effect book and receive a free 30 minutes consultation (Worth $75) with one of the authors.


And … No, you wouldn’t want to miss my Next Blog Post, would you?

Of course not! In the next blog, let’s continue on to part 3 of the blossom series (Cultures that frustrate our progress). To your success and True Happiness….